Grace to be 3

Ella has been picking out her own clothes for a good year now. We had daily fights and meltdowns about clothing choices back in February/March until God gave me the wisdom to give up the battle. Via the very wise Tim Kimmel, I have really come to believe that if it's not a moral issue, a biblical issue, or a house rule (something we've decided is very important), DON'T fight over it.

It's also helpful to think about if I'm fighting over it to serve Ella or to serve me. Do I not want her to wear the polka dots with stripes for her well being, or because of my pride? If it's about me, it's a clear answer that I need to swallow my pride and let my kid have the joy of expressing herself in her fashion sense. Over the many months of putting this in to practice, I've come to see how Tim is right: when we give our kids the grace to be who they are and not stifle it to make ourselves look/feel good, they flourish! Ella loves picking out clothes, is very particular and very meticulous about being sure even her underwear match something in the outfit. Our fighting stopped almost immediately when I stopped trying to control this area of her life (cause really, she's 3 and I control most everything else). After a couple months of freedom she's even started asking my opinion on occasion. In the last couple weeks she's even asked me to pick out her clothes once or twice (though she'll quickly reject anything she doesn't like). She still thinks a flowered skirt and a paisley shirt match because "they're both pink!" but she is a really happy kid when it comes to choosing her clothes for the day and it makes me smile.

As for me, I've become much more likely to be excited at the thoughtfulness and creativity that goes into an outfit Ella picks out than embarrassed and quick to explain that "she dresses herself." It's still a growing process but I'm so thankful that God intervened in the midst of our clothing wars last winter and gave me insight into how to end the fighting and shower Ella with grace and watch her blossom.

Ella insisted that this is the way you wear this headband!

She wore this to school last week. A tutu and cowboy boots and I can honestly say, I loved her choice!