A Manifesto for Joyful Mothering

My SIL posted a link to this on her blog a few months ago and being in need of some encouragement as I deal with a rather fragile child lately*, I decided to make it my own. Moments ago, I spent a little time rewording it a little bit to fit me and our family a little better, printed it out, and hung it in the kitchen where I'll see it often. There's lots of great encouragement to raise kids the way I long to-with joy, grace, lots of hugs, and aware of God's constant presence. Here's the original version, hope it's an encouragement to you too!

*I think the anticipation of the new baby is affecting Ella (and all of us) quite a bit. She's had a hard time obeying lately and been tearful and tantrum-ing more than ever in life in the last couple weeks. She's also been much more clingy to me and MUCH more affectionate than ever in her life (that's been a positive thing!) It's nice that rather than just acting out, she can verbalize things like "Mom, I just need as much time with you as possible before the baby comes" or "I'm worried you won't have time for me when the baby comes" except that it's completely heartbreaking!! Anyway, we'll get through this transition but I needed some hang-it-on-the-kitchen-wall-type encouragement!


A
10 Point Manifesto for Joyful Mothering



1. Today, I will make our home a house of prayer. I will pray at set times. And I will invite our children to come move into an interior space that lives with God.


2. Today, I will transfigure all things into beauty, and I will refuse to see anything else.


3. Today, I will not have any emergencies. There are no emergencies! Only amateurs hurry.


4. Today, when stress mounts, I pray to dismount it with gratitude. My stress management plan will be intervention with verbal thanks. I can only feel one feeling at a time, and I choose to give thanks at all times. Fight feeling with feeling!


5. Today, I will pray to speak words that are only STRONG words, words that make these children feel strong. Grace words. Grace is the only non-toxic air. All other words I breathe are death words.


6. Today, I will pray to be consistently consistent. I will create safe rhythms that our children can find security in. I will create daily ceremonies because everyday we are CELEBRATING the gift of now!


7. Today, the moment when I am most repelled by a child's behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.


8. Today, I will hug each of my children as many times as I serve them meals -- because children's hearts feed on touch. I'll look for as many opportunities to touch my children today as possible --- the taller they are, the more so.


9. Today, my priorities will be all Things Unseen.


10. Today, I will laugh! And I will let the little children laugh! I will create a culture of JOY!

Announcement time...

Most of you know this since I have a relatively small blog-reading audience but for those who do not...I'm PREGNANT!!! We are THRILLED!!! It was a LONG time coming. Maybe I'll share that story at some point but suffice it to say, I am now very knowledgable about fertility treatments and thankful for how God can use them!

I'm 14 weeks today which means I am offically in my second trimester! Thanks to 4 years of praying against a pregnancy like my first one (I threw up for 7 months) God has answered! I have had normal pregnancy symptoms but not sick like last time AT ALL!! Praise the Lord! We've seen ultrasounds, heard the heart beat, and I swear I've felt movement since about week 11. I'm not showing yet but I'm sure that will change in the next month :-)

So, that's all for now, just wanted to put it out there so when it relates to our lives now I can share openly. We covet any prayers for a healthy baby and pregnancy!

More Thanksgiving Day Excitment...

So, during Pie Night my SIL Ping was having contractions and by the next morning (thanksgiving day!) they headed to the hospital and less than 2 hours later she had the baby! Evangeline Wong-Chien Heiliger is here! (totally not sure about the spelling of the chinese middle name-sorry Ping). She was 21 1/2 inches and 9lbs 11oz! I have no idea how such a big baby came out of someone so small! Mom and baby went home the following day and everyone is doing great. So thankful for this new baby in our lives!





Ping's mom is a THRILLED grandma!

Can't stop saying "amazing"

You know when you have one of those once-in-a-lifetime type experiences where you feel marked by it and so thankful to have been a part of it? I had the privilege of having one this week when my looooooong time friend Holly, allowed me to join her mom and husband in the delivery room for the birth of her son! He was born on Monday evening after about 10 hours at the hospital and it was am amazing, joyous event to be part of! I can't say thank you enough for inviting me into your family for this special moment. As Holly commented when I thanked her, "you've been part of the family for a long time!" I guess after being close friends for 15 years we have become more like family than anything else. Well, welcome to the family beautiful baby Grant!

One last only-child-smooch for Hope before Grant

Post delivery, Dad got to hang out with Grant while he got poked and measured

Holly finally got to hold her baby boy! So exciting!!

I took the other pics with their camera but this one was with my cell phone and it's my favorite! Love at first sight! Thanks again for letting me be in on this amazing moment.

Hilariously Obscene

**this post is mildly obscene and has been known to cause most men to gag (i.e. Chris and Dave Heiliger) so feel free to stop reading now if you are male or easily offended by naked cake**

So, a few months ago I came across a picture of a cake on Facebook from a friend's birthing class. I thought it was shocking but really funny and sent it to a few friends. My dear friend Jen wrote back right away saying she loved it and can we PLEASE make it for her at some point? Well, lo and behold her 3rd baby was born today!! So, a couple weeks ago a few close friends got together to celebrate the coming of the new baby and of course, we had to surprise her with the cake which I hadn't mentioned in months. Oh. My. Word. It was SO much fun to make and give this cake. My friend Erin and I spent most of the day making it but it was totally worth it! I highly recommend it for any of your more on-the-wild-side friends who are about to give birth!!


Ella helped with some parts of the cake :-)

All the cake needed for all the body parts

Erin feeling the tummy!

...and then trying it on!

It was Erin's idea to make the legs stand up (in the original cake we saw they were just laying down but we decided that was totally weak). Our lady got stirrups! Staple guns were invovled. Awesome.

All the cake laid out :-)

Coming to life!!

Icing a breast. Yes, icing a breast.

The finished product!! Notice all the personalized touches:
1)Jen has pigtails (very Jen)
2)She has purposely mismatched socks :-) (extremely Jenish)
3)She's holding a Chipotle burrito (Jen stopped there while in labor with her 1st, and I brought her Chipotle in the hospital the day after she gave birth to #2)

Erin and I were very proud of our handiwork :-)

and Jen's face was priceless!

She LOVED it!! SO worth it :-)

*in case you're wondering, Ella did see the cake and I was prepared to calmly, honestly answer any questions about birth or women's bodies that came up and seize this as an educational moment. But, she had very little reaction other than wanting to eat it. She didn't comment at all on the fact that Miss Jen was naked and when we asked her about the baby she said "the baby is just laying on the counter and Miss Jen is holding it!"

Little Mom

Conversation in the car tonight

Me: Ella what are you doing back there?
Ella: Just feeding baby doll.  Mommy, I LOVE her. 
Me: That's great!  What is she eating?
Ella: Milk.  She LOVES milk.  In a bottle.  She LOVES bottles.
Me: Ella did you know that when you were a little baby I fed you milk in a bottle?
Ella: Yeah!  But now I'm a big girl and I learned how to feed baby doll!  Mom?
Me: Yes?
Ella: Daddy said I'm a good helper and baby doll needs me to help her with her bottle.  Mom, babies don't know how to do anything!
Me (chuckling): you're right!  They do need help.
Ella: Yeah, and I'm bigger and taller so they need me to take care of them.  Mom?
Me: Yes?
Ella: I'm a good helper to tiny babies. 
Me: Yes you are.  I'm proud of you.
Ella: Me too.

Ella is 28 months today!

Ella and I were at my parents house the other day and while I was chatting with my mom Ella kept pulling at my coat and seeming like she was trying to climb in it and saying "open it." I thought she was just playing around but finally she got frustrated and got my attention...

Ella:off please!!
Me:Oh! You want me to take my coat off?
Ella: Yeah Mom! Take it off and stay a while!

My mom and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Where does she come up with these things!

She has been amazing me with how she connects words and events and how she hears everything we say. She is completely capable of original thoughts that make sense...I really feel like I'm talking to an adult sometimes. Today we were getting ready to go leave the house and she asked for her coat. I told her we didn't need it because it was warm outside. A couple minutes later she said "Mom, when it's warm outside i get to go to the pool!" It took a couple minutes but the wheels were turning and she remembered what else goes with "warm outside"...it's fascinating to me. One of her favorite topics lately is all of the new babies that are being born or growing in tummies. She told me yesterday "I so excited for Aunt Ping's baby to grow in tummy and come out and grow up and be my friend!!" When my mom and I were talking the other day about my friend Ana just having had a baby Ella piped up from playing to note that "that baby is name Daniel." I didn't even think she was listening let alone would remember the name of a baby she hasn't met! I love the excitement of hearing what she'll amaze or amuse me with next :-)