Behavior Modification Part 2

So, Ella would live on carbs, sugar, and milk (which has both!) if she could. I've been feeling frustrated lately with her lack of interest in vegetables and fruit and the battle it is to get her to eat them. And, I've decided 4 is too young to get away with eating what you want because you wear Mommy out. So, we're going hard core. Chris and I decided that we are going to assume our rightful roles as the ones who determine if our child is healthy or not. So, Operation Fruit and Vegetables is in full swing. Here's the plan.

Ella needs to eat a serving of fruit (at breakfast) and vegetables (at lunch and dinner) first. That's all she will be served when she sits down to a meal. If she eats ALL of it (no more bargaining with "3 more green beans!!) she can have the rest of the meal. If she doesn't eat it, she gets nothing else to eat. We feel confident she will not starve if she misses a meal (although this does pull on my heart strings) so we're going to hold our ground.

Drinks are another issue because since birth Ella has been a milk lover and would gladly consumer all her calories in liquid form. So, we already limit her milk and (diluted) juice intake but these will also be saved for after veggies/fruits are consumed so she can't fill up on them. Plus, if she eats more healthy stuff she may not need her regular prune juice to keep her "regular" (she's also been constipated since birth-sorry if that's TMI but come on, this is a mom blog).

So, we started yesterday and she's doing GREAT! I'm sure rough spots are around the corner (and this is much harder to enforce if we're not home) but so far she's been a hero! I must confess she did cry the first morning and said through tears "Mommy, it will hurt my feelings if I have to eat vegetables every day." I validated her feelings of sadness (I am a therapist after all) and then we talked about how Mommy and Daddy are in charge of helping her grow up healthy so we're doing this to make her healthy not sad. She got over it and ate her oranges :-)

Today she ate a bowl of peas at lunch and didn't even bat an eyelash. Last week she probably would have eaten 3 peas after whining about it and then fed them to the dog while I wasn't looking or just eaten all her sandwich and said she was too full for peas. Well girl, I'm on to you. The dog is in her crate for meal times and you can't be full because you can't eat anything else first!!

So, we're excited and perhaps naively hopeful, that she'll develop a like for more fruits and vegetables through this experiment. I really do love most vegetables so I'm hoping I can model that. We've told her that when she starts to eat all her veggies without complaining, we'll know she's ready to have them served with her other food. So, wish us luck! We're psyched!

Behavior Modification Part 1

I promise I'll post about Ella's birthday soon but that involves looking through 400 pictures (literally) so it'll have to wait.

I did want to document some new "behavior modification" measures we're starting this week. If you remember, we've used the school bus for a REALLY long time. It worked well but the novelty wore off and wasn't specific enough (she got kids on her school bus for any positive thing, lost them for any negative thing). So, we borrowed an idea Amy (my SIL) who borrowed it from another friend: a sticker chart where Ella gets stickers for certain behaviors. Here's the list (the ones with stars are the ones that have recently been causing a lot of problems):

I obeyed right away! *
I got dressed without whining! *
I fed Raleigh!
I stayed in my bed at night! *
I stayed in my room for rest time! *
I ate a serving of vegetables! *
I ate a serving of fruit!
I drank a cup of water!
I cleaned up my room!

Then it has this verse as encouragement for Ella and for us :-)

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up”.

Galatians 6:9 (New Living Translation)

We started it Saturday and right now Ella has 9 stickers!! The rewards are as follows:
10 stickers: piece of candy
20 stickers: a little toy from a treasure box (this box is still in the making)
30 stickers: gets to go to/rent a movie or get ice cream

I'm a little uncomfortable with food as rewards (especially in light of Beh. Mod. Part 2) so we may rethink that but for now I think it's ok. It makes her really happy and reinforces the idea that treats are "sometimes" foods not things we have every day (thanks Sesame Street!).

So, we're excited about the new chart, Ella's psyched about it and is doing pretty darn well. I hope this builds into her a sense of responsibility and respect for authority and self-control. I also hope that our responses to missteps give her a solid understanding of grace.

I'll let you know how it goes!

SCORE!

Today Ella and I met some friends for story time at the library and then had lunch at a yummy restaurant. That is not the remarkable part of the story. After our morning out, I was feeling strangely brave and compelled by my long to-do-list to run some errands. Errands and Ella generally are not a good combination. She doesn't like sitting in carts for very long, she gets bored, and whiny, and when it gets bad, she'll do that limp body thing that every mother of a toddler knows. Basically, it's infuriating. So, I usually run errands alone (thank God I have that luxury-yay for husbands who work at home!). That said, I haven't attempted many errands with Ella recently (like the last 2 1/2 years). But today, I decided to see what would happen. We went to FIVE different places! We were out for THREE hours. And NO meltdowns!!! By either of us! It was amazing! She wasn't angelic per se but she did VERY well. What a wonderful surprise to not come home ready to sell her. Who knows when this will happen again so I thought it was worth documenting. Way to go Ella and praise the Lord!

PS-If you're reading this in a reader or email, go check out my actual blog-I have some fun new thanksgiving decor :-)