Halloween hilarity

Definitions by Ella. Ha!!!!

I'm no artist...

I was trying to cut and then paint Ella's nails and she kept jerking away and even started crying at one point saying I hurt her. Then...
Me: Ella do you know what toenails are? They're dead. Like your hair. You being scared of me cutting your nails is like going to a hair salon and crying when they cut your hair. You wouldn't do that because it doesn't hurt!!
Ella: but no mom. It's different.
Me: no it's the same
Ella: no but they are different...they do it all the time, they're like....artists mom. They're talented. They know what they're doing. So it doesn't hurt.

What???

I acted all offended and assured her that I'm no toenail artist but after 32 years of life, I know how to cut them.
Where does she come up with this stuff???!!

Mouths of babes...

Both kids are amusing me lately with what they say. For Sadie it's lots of "oh, wow!!" And "ooo, what's zat?" For ella it's things like this....

Just now
Ella: hey mom, wanna chat with me while I brush my teeth?
Me: sure! What should we chat about?
E: So, I've been wondering...what's it like being a grown up?
(Then I laughed and tried to convinve her it wasn't all just getting to do whatever you want!)

Yesterday on a walk
Me: oh my gosh! Ella look at this-it's a dead bat!!! (It was laying on the sidewalk and I was totally fascinated)
E: (totally deadpan) well, ya don't see that everyday

Two days ago
Ella: mom? Sadie has a huge head. Like, her feet are tiny and her hands are tiny but that head? Whoowee! It's huge mom! ....I guess maybe she'll grow into it.

Christmas Card Pics Fail

S: Camera?  What's a camera?  You want me to look where?

The hair has overtaken the baby!

Still only one kid looking...and one...sleeping?

Slightly to much like a head-lock

E=strained, sad smile and S=deer in headlights

E is finally smiling naturally!  Just have to get S onboard...

This was a result of Daddy dancing for them behind me.  Natural but too much tongue...

Clapping?  Ok...we give up.  We'll try again later (maybe with a better bribe for getting a good picture!)

Sleeping Funnies

I found Ella asleep like this a few months ago. It's very possible she was praying since she's been asking to kneel like that and pray before bed. SO cute!

This one CRACKED me up. I went to check on Ella before I went to bed and found her fast asleep with stuffed animals tucked into her shirt like this! HILARIOUS. She told me in the morning she wanted them to have "a comfy blanket" like her so she thought this was a good way :-) Love it.

I love food

So, Chris thinks it's hilarious that though I generally love food (eating it, watching TV shows about it, cooking it, shopping for it) this has been magnified in this pregnancy. I have come to really appreciate what we now call "food porn." At work a few months ago I found myself having a spare minute and looking up pictures of food online. I'm watching the Food Network more than ever and subscribed to Food Network Magazine (mostly for the pictures!). It makes me very happy :-) Anyway, here are a few food pics of my own from a recent AMAZING meal at a restaurant in the city. Mmmmm....



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More hilarity

The things that come out of Ella's mouth are the highlight of my day most days! Here are some recent ones :-)

*Commonly used phrases
"fer sure!"
(with genuine awe) "that's ahhhmayyyyyzing!"
when asking her a yes or no question "that will be fine"

*We were playing a game on PBDKIDS.org (which I HIGHLY recommend) and Ella was decorating a house with furniture. She plopped a big arm chair in the middle of the living room as it's only decor and said "There. That'll be good for a man."


*We were talking the car about prayer
Mom: Isn't it cool that God can always hear us wherever we are and we can always talk to him?
Ella:Yeah! But we can't hear Him.
Mom: Yeah, not with our ears but sometimes we'll hear him say something in our hearts that we know he wants us to do.
Ella:Yeah! Like this (bends her head to the side). If you put your ear real close to your shoulder you can hear your heart! That's how it works Mom.

Shout out to Pastor Dan

We go to a phenomenal church. I will not give you any lengthy story about the amazing worship, or how God's Spirit moves there, or even about the diversity there we love so much. What I will tell you is that you know your church is cool when your pastor sends you this email of picture he took last week. It might take you a second to see why it's hilarious (and you might have to zoom in)...

Love it.

Ella is Hilarious

I've been collecting things Ella has been saying and doing that have made me laugh (or cry) but most are HILARIOUS. SO love this girl.

Random quotes (and I mean RANDOM):
Ella: Mom! Wanna race? Do you know what a race is? It's when you run as fast as you can and then someone wins and then the cheerleaders cheer!! Yeah! Whoohoo!

Ella (when we walked past a Baltimore Ravens Sticker on someone's car): Look mom-a "B" on a Hokie Bird!
Mom: No, that's a raven, it's a different kind of bird but it does look like a Hokie!
Ella:(silent for a moment, processing): Oh! Raven, just like a raisin! Mmmm.

Ella (in the car after a long silence, very nonchalantly): Hey Mom? This raisin is flat. Flat like a doggie's bed.



About a month ago Ella has this odd, hard to describe, new laugh she was doing ALL the time. It also went a long with this very teenager-ey tendency to say "oh yeah, for sure" and "like" all the time. I have NO idea where it came from. Anyway, it was so odd that I kept pointing it out and since then she has decided she'll pick a new "laugh for the week" (her words) each week. It is hysterical. Lately she's lost track and forgets but for a while she somehow naturally went into the desginated "laugh for the week" whenever something was funny. Where does she come up with this stuff??


This morning we were talking about our friend Lexi riding in our car. This turned into a discussion about how old you have to be to sit in the front seat and how old to not be in a car seat and then...
Ella: when you're 10 you get to sit in the front!
Mom: yeah! and when you're 16 you can learn to drive! Isn't that cool?
Ella: yeah! And when you're 17 you can get pregnant!
Mom: WHAT?? No you can't! You have to be much older. And married! That's SO silly Ella!! You have to be an adult to do that.
Ella:but 17 is a half way adult and you could have your own baby!
Mom: (lots of talk about how that's not a good idea)
(*disclaimer-we had talked earlier that day about what how "pregnant" means someone has a baby in their tummy because she didn't know that word when I mentioned our friend was pregnant. I think it was just fresh in her mind when she was thinking of things you get to do when you're older, like drive! Still, threw me for a loop!)


Climbing into the car and seeing Silas (her cousin) getting strapped into her carseat Ella looks at Chris and I and with her voice quivering and her face solemn says "This. is very. disappointing. (long pause) I. am getting. very. angry. I. do not. want. him in my seat." She was on the verge of tears and it was everything Chris and I could do to not burst out laughing! Poor girl hasn't had to share her car seat much!

She was right

A couple weeks ago we froze some of Ella's yogurts with a stick in them per the instructions on the box. One morning she remembered and asked if she could have a popsicle for breakfast. Because this sounded absurd and like something to of course, say no to, I did. She whined and said "but popsicles are good for breakfast!!" and "whyyyyy??" And then, as she was whining, I realized she eats yogurt for breakfast almost every day. Why is the same exact yogurt in frozen form not allowed? So, I came to my senses, apologized for being ridiculous and told her she was right-popsicles are good for breakfast :-) She was thrilled and I was reminded that my knee-jerk response to say no to certain things needs to be re-evaluated in some cases. And I love getting to say yes to this little girl.

Future DDS?

The other morning I was doing something in the kitchen and realized Ella had myteriously disappeared and been awfully quiet for a while. Since she can't turn on the TV by herself yet I was concerned that I was about to discover her painting the walls or unfolding all the laundry or some other disaster. Here's what I found.

Yes, she's flossing. Our dentist would be proud.

More Conversations

Ella has been saying lots of things I think are really funny lately...I'm sure a lot is lost in translation but here are a few :-)

*We were walking in the mall and I pointed to some mannequins in the Gap kids window
Me: Ella! Look at those clothes! Aren't they cute!
Ella: (in a sad tone) Yes, they are. But we can't by them Mom. They're just pretend.

I guess clothes have to be on real people to be real?

*In the car while Ella's playing with her etch-a-sketch
E: OOOOO Mom look! Look! Look! You have to look at what I made!
Me:Ok, pass it to me. What is it?
E: Just look!! Look!!!
Me (confused, looking at just a straight line down the middle of the screen): Ohhh! What a nice line!
E: No! It's a heinie!!!
Me (laughing): Ella! Who showed you how to do that?
E: Just me! I made it up! Cause it looks just like a heinie!! HEINIE! HEINIE! BOTTOM!!!


*We were in Pier One looking at some rugs on a top shelf. I couldn't reach them so I asked a salesman to come over and help me.
E (to salesman and me): You know, maybe my daddy could reach that for you. He's pretty large ya know.

*Ella saw me washing off our kitchen scissors after we'd used them and was watching pensively then asked "Mom, why are you trying to cut the water?"

*And finally, we were sitting outside on the front lawn on a nice day last week and Ella got really excited all of a sudden and points to herself, then me, then Chris and says "Look Mom and Dad! Look! We're small, medium, and large!!"

ELLA. CRACKS. ME. UP.

*warning-this might be too much information for private, easily embarrassed people, sorry but it's too funny not to share*

So here's the scene. Ella and I are getting home kind of late and I'm bringing things in from the car. I tell her to go get her pajamas on and I'll get mine on and meet her in the kitchen. She's ready before me and comes into the bedroom.

E: Hi Mom! I'm all ready!
Me: Ok, I'm almost ready, I just need to change into pajama pants.
E:Yeah, cause you already have your pajama shirt and you already took off your nickel-belt.
Me: My what?
E: Your Nickel. Belt. Nickel-belt!
Me: (starting to understand but wanting to confirm) what is that?
E: (walks over to my dresser and pulls out a bra) This! Your nickel-belt!
Me: (hilarious dissolving into laughter) Who told you that??
E: I just made it up! See, a nickel (motioning to her chest)-belt!
Me: (laughing so hard I can't speak)
E: (dancing down the hall singing) nickel-belt! nickel-belt! nickel-nickel-nickel belt!

In case you aren't around us enough to know, Ella calls "nipples" "nickels" and we don't correct her anymore. Partially because it's funny and partially because if she's going to talk about such things in public I'd much rather people have no idea what she's talking about than realize she's talking about their nipples. Along the same lines, we've never taught her the word "bra" because it's never really been necessary and I'd rather her not yell it across Target at an inopportune moment. Thus, she decided that a long peice of fabric that hooks together and goes around your "nickels" must be a "nickel-belt." Hilarious! I LOVE THAT GIRL!!!

Conversations with E

E: Mom, what is this book about?
Me: Oh, that's Our Daily Bread, it's a book about God! (...I await deep, spiritual conversation...)
E: (flips it over and looks at spring themed cover and then casts it aside) No Mom, it's not. It's a book about flowers.


Me: Ella can I keep coloring with you? I'm having a good time!
E: Yes! You may! Know why? Because you are perfectly exciting mom!


Most nights when we try to put her to bed without a drink
E: (pointing pathetically to her empty mouth) Mom, I just need a little something to go in here. Please? Just something for right here.


E:Mom? You know what I want to do?
Me: What?
E: Go to Disney World! But not til I'm a liiiiiiittle bit bigger because then I won't be scared of costumes.
Me:Yeah-that's a good idea. We don't want you to be scared so we'll wait until you're a little older. When do you think you won't be scared anymore?
E:Ummm...prob-ly when I'm 29.
Me: (laughing)
E: Yup. 29. When I'm a mama like you.

And finally...a conversation we have often....
E:Mom when can I get a car?
Me: Do you remember? When you're six...
E:...teen! Sixteen! Then I can get a tiny, pink car and drive it! Whoohoo! (then she dances around joyously and then asks me again when she can drive about 5 minutes later)

If you have a free 6 minutes and want to laugh...

This has nothing to do with Ella, I just think it's the funniest thing I've seen in a year so I thought I'd share :-)

When not otherwise entertained...

This is (apparently) what Ella does in the car when not otherwise entertained...until she realizes she's on camera at least :-)

Coziness is highly valued in our house

So...on Saturday night I was out for a Christmas party (yes, I know it's february but it was actually really fun to stretch out the holiday and we decided to do this again on purpose next year. But I digress.) So I was out and Chris was home with Ella. They had a fun night, he put her to bed uneventfully and hadn't heard from her since. At almost 11pm when he was heading to bed he went to peek in on Ella. And SHE. WASN'T. THERE. He said he looked around her room and then started to look in the bathrooms, our bedroom, everywhere. He was starting to freak out (I would have had a heart attack by then) and went back into her room and turned on the lights and was about to start yelling for her when he found her. Safe and sound. Asleep. Where you ask? UNDER HER BED!!!!!

He moved her back into her bed, tucked her in and she went right back to sleep. We have NEVER played under her bed, pretended to sleep under her bed, nothing. When we asked her the next morning why she was sleeping there she said very nonchalantly, "because I wanted to be nice and cozy." She is SO funny!

The Weekend in Pictures

What an amazing Dad! And at a superbowl party no less! (he's very secure in his masculinity)

They kept these dresses on for approximately 4 hours.

This is probably the first picture in 27 years of me with curly hair and Marissa with straight hair. Weird.

Marissa didn't really like the sushi and got a little hungry...

Ella and Hope on a necklace making/lunch date. They LOVE each other.

Good weekend!

Ella Talk

Me (in a funny voice while dancing around): I Love You!! I love you!! I love you!
Ella (in a scolding tone): Mom. You are being a little too crazy.


E (while we're in the car running errands): Mom can you take a shower when we get home?
Me: Why? I took a shower this morning.
E: Please? Please? Can you please take a shower?
Me: No Ella, I'll take one tomorrow morning.
(lots more begging and me getting frustrated)
Me: Why do you want me to take a shower? I'm clean!
E (quietly): ummm...so I can watch TV
Ahhh, it all comes together now. She had no concerns for my hygiene, it was just a new way to beg for TV time (the begging is the main reason she's been banned from TV lately).
Later she told me "Mom, I won't let it hurt my brain! I promise!" (Yes, I told her too much TV will hurt her brain.)


Ella: Mom? Did you know vegetables are good for my brain, and my tummy, and my poop! That's what they're good for!
Me: That's true! How about some broccoli at lunch? I love broccoli.
Ella: Nope. I don't like vegetables.
(TMI ALERT-she knows vegetables are good for her poop because she's been constipated for most of her life so it's kind of a mantra around here)


Ella: Mom, come look! Come! Now!
Me: What happened? Are you ok? What are you doing? (I come around the table to look and she's sitting there bouncing her leg up and down)
Ella: This is called the hopping leg. Do you like it?


(in the car, both sitting quietly and pull up to a light about a mile from the mall)
E: Oh! We're going to the Alumbia Mall!
Me: We are! How did you know the name of the mall? How do you know where we are??
E: Cause it's the Alumbia Mall! We're near Popeye and Abuela's house too.
Me (seriously incredulous): Wow Ella! You're right! I'm so impressed!
E (to a tune she made up, over and over and over): I'm right, I'm right, I'm totally right!


Me: Ella can you tell me about the Christmas Story?
Ella: Yes! It's about Disney World. There's Mickey and Princesses.

Gushers are Gross!

Somehow Holly ended up with Gushers when she got home from the grocery store even though she didn't put them in her cart. I am familiar with these nasty snacks because my dad actually likes them and for some reason I remember him taking them on a trip to Russia about ten years ago-primarily because they'd probably last through nuclear attack so a trip to Moscow didn't hurt them. Anyway, when Holly and I were out for lunch with the girls the other day she decided to give them some and see if they liked them. Hope only ate one (good taste) but Ella ate a bunch. YUCK! A few minutes later we realized that the Gushers had left their mark...